Adoption Blessings

I had coffee with a new friend awhile back. We both thought it would be great to sit down and get to know one another since we had several things in common with each other. For instance, both of us had suffered years with infertility, our families were created through adoption and we are both Christian women-that's enough for me to start up a great friendship! As we talked and talked about our life experiences, we kept coming back to adoption and how much adoption had touched our lives. We also talked at length about our children's adoption stories, our Faith that got us to that point, but one thing that we talked at length about were people's reaction to the term or reality of "adoption." We were both amazed at the blinders people wear towards adoption. We both carried on and on with funny stories from strangers to in-laws reactions to our adopting, but one story in particular that my new friend told me I carry in my heart. Whether she knows it or not her little story has given me such joy and wonder when it comes to raising my adopted son. I have also come to understand God's love for us more and more through my experiences with adoption.

The story is short but it goes like this. My friend's daughter is a beautiful girl who is very talented in ballet. Her daughter was adopted from overseas, so it is very evident that they are not blood related. My friend talked about how she does not have the body built for ballet and had other interests growing up, but how she just loves watching her daughter dance though she has no dancing background from her childhood. She went on to talk about how she watches and laughs at all the mothers who get so upset and panicked over their daughters ballet and achievements-it is as if "they" are living through their children. These mothers did ballet, so their daughters must do ballet. She said you can see the stress on the mothers and daughters faces over this need to "do" ballet. But, my friend went on to describe how she doesn't have the need to make her daughter "do". She doesn't need to live through her daughter for she knows her daughter is different from her. Her daughter looks different, acts different and therefor has different talents-there are no shoes to fill or shoes to make fit.

Do you see the joy in that? Do you see her freedom in that? She gets to wait and see what wonderful traits and abilities develop in her daughter-not assumptions. She isn't consumed with,"Will Sarah like ballet like me, she must like ballet." or "Little Johnny's going to play football just like his dad." I now watch in wonder and amazement at how great my son is-and how different he is from his mom and dad. "Is this his talent?" "Maybe he would like this sport?" It is like our son is a big Christmas gift and as we unwrap the present (him) we get to see bits and pieces. We get to be excited because we still don't know what it is. I don't see where the excitement is in making our children be little clones of ourselves. I'm amazed at how people have a hard time dealing with that image and the unknown. People are insistent on wanting to know where my son got some of his red hair-I don't know I tell them.

Adoption reminds me of God and how we are adopted into his family. We are made in his image but how many different types of people do you know? How many different colors and nations of people are there, but we all belong to the same God and children in his family. Let's raise our children up as they should go-that is in the gifts God has given them and not our expectations of them. The blessing an adopted child brings is that they will continue blessing and surprising you their entire life!

A great link about adoption and God's family http://disciplethenations.org/article_adoption.html

Mother's Day Blahs

To me the two hardest holidays for a woman who is experiencing infertility or pregnancy loss, or waiting to adopt are Christmas and Mother's Day. It seems at these holidays everything is about babies, children and family and Mother's Day deals a double-dose of the reality blahs. Let's be honest, these two holidays are reminders of a life that feels unattainable-the life of motherhood.


Okay...we've said our feelings out loud, felt sorry for ourselves and even felt guilty for the feelings we are experiencing yet our situation hasn't changed. What is next? ...Oh yeah, let's get angry about our situation. This is the emotional roller coaster we don't need to take! This road only leads to the blah's and you need to make an emergency exit before crashing completely. However you do have a choice to make once you've decided to get off the road to no-where-ville and that is, do I take a left or a right turn. A left turn it leads to bitterness, a right turn leads to Jesus. Which way will you turn?

You know what I'm talking about because you've met these two different types of people. Those who decided to take a left turn, walk around as if they are "bitter." Either the world or their family or God has just done them wrong. They choose to never get over it because everyday they wake up, think about their day, feel their saddness and carry their bitterness with them for all to feel and see. These people are miserable to themeselves and others around them.

OR...
You can take a right turn. This turn leads to Jesus. The person that chose to make a right turn instead wakes up everyday and thinks about their day, too. But they differ because when they feel their sadness they also give up their saddness. Apostle Paul writes,"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well feed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." In this verse Phillipians 4:12, Paul describes the secret to feeling content and that is only through Christ Jesus giving you strength. This means turning your pain, sorrows and bitterness over to God and asking for Him to give you strength to make it through your day. What you allow to occupy your thoughts will sooner or later determine your attitude. So let your thoughts lead to things that are not of self-pity and grife but instead thankfulness in everything-even hard times.

My Spirit as a Garden

I would not normally share something so intimate with strangers, but I believe you are my sisters and I love sharing good and wonderful things with my sisters, especially what God lays on my heart. During my quiet time today, I prayed that the Holy Spirit show me what my spirit looked like as if it were a garden. I thought I was crazy to pray such a prayer. I might see lots of weeds and thorny bushes, but I was hoping for at least a pretty bush or two. As I prayed, a beautiful fragrant smell came to me. It was not too sweet but very delicate in nature. It reminded me of walking by a honeysuckle bush. Then I got a glimpse of a beautiful rose. It was light peach and pink in color with touches of yellow. I began to cry at its beauty. But then my eyes trailed down the rose and I saw the thorns on the stem. They resembled steps. I breathed in air and gasped slightly-my trials! Tears are streaming down my face now. The Holy Spirit began to reveal that these thorns were my past trials. "Look up the stem, what do you see?" I looked back up the stem and there was a beautiful rose that had bloomed open. I was in awe at this point. I suddenly desired Jesus to come and sit inside my garden for awhile and stay. I looked for a wooden bench for him to sit on? I've never thought of that before. Nor had I ever thought, "Is my garden a place where Jesus would want to sit and stay awhile?" That was my next prayer, "Holy Spirit are show me if there are any weeds or ugly thorny bushes I need to pull up. No one wants to sit inside an ugly garden. Holy Spirit help me build a beautiful garden and bench. I want my garden to be a beautiful place where Jesus and others would want to stay and talk for awhile. I thought of a beautiful place with constant beams of sunshine."

After this, I really began to think about what I was shown and what my thoughts were. I was recently told by a dear friend about a prayer called the Gardner's Prayer (I think that was the name). I'm sure that little seed she put in my ear was what prompted my prayer and I'm so thankful to God for her. Draw your own conclusions of my quiet time, but I know I'm going to get busy building a bench and yanking out weeds in my garden. It's not something I want to do-that is for sure! Gardening always sounds fun but it is hard work! It seems the more you dig the more you uncover and the dirtier and sweatier you get. But, it sure is nice to be able to sit back, admire the garden and invite friends over for a glass of lemonade or tea to enjoy all that you've accomplished. My next prayer will most likely be, "Lord, do I need a big tractor with a scoop or a shovel to get those thorny bushes and weeds out?" What I do know is that God will provide His mighty tools for such a big job.